This, the last day of the Winter Olympics in Vancouver, ought to be a doozy. Before the closing ceremonies, the United States and Canada will battle for hockey supremacy, and some other people will compete for medals. Forgive us for the tunnel vision.

In honor on NBC’s “coverage” of the Winter Olympics, we pay homage with a multifaceted train wreck of a sports program.

You’re all familiar with Brian Collins, formerly the worst sports broadcaster ever and of “Boom goes the dynamite!” fame. The video below is what an entire broadcast would look like if Collins was responsible for every aspect of production: