"For trading Cliff Lee, they are condemned!"

By now you’ve probably heard the apocalyptic news that both Chase Utley and Placido Polanco have been placed on the 15-day DL. You also are probably dealing with the physical aftermath of the emotional decision you made to jump off the Phillies 2010 World Series Champions bridge specially constructed for this season.

You can’t totally be blamed. Entering last night’s game, the news on Polanco was cautiously optimistic. He’d received a second cortisone shot on his ailing elbow, and hoped to play in Tuesday’s game in Cincinnati. There was nothing to report on Utley because, well, nothing had happened to Utley—yet.

In the fourth inning of last night’s series-opening loss to the NL Central-leading (!) Reds, Utley tried to stretch a single into a double, sliding head first into second base. He was tagged out on the play, but ultimately did worse damage by snagging his right thumb on the bag. Utley soldiered through the rest of the game without any apparent signs that the opposable digit was ailing, but with the Phils facing a six-run deficit in the ninth inning, Charlie Manuel pulled Utley for a pinch hitter. That’s when we learned of The Thumb.

Now, a day after, both Utley and Polanco are on the DL. Utley had an MRI on his thumb earlier today, and while it is not believed to be serious in the season-altering vein, it certainly is not something to take lightly. The Phillies are in trouble from now up until the All-Star break, at the very least, and possibly longer if The Thumb and The Elbow do not heal enough for both players to be effective.

If they don’t? You won’t want to be around to see it.