Overall, it is a great time to be a Philadelphia Sports Phanatic (Canada changed the spelling of center, so we definitely have the right to make changes as we see phit).

I don’t know about everyone else, but despite the baggage and poor reputation we receive (on what seems like a daily basis) from all across America, I’m honored to call myself a Philadelphia sports fan.  Could it get any better than this? It’s a very exciting time for our beautiful historic city, since things seem to be on the up and up on all fronts.  Please, take a moment to digest and let me explain.

Prior to 2008, we had the longest championship drought for a city with teams in all four major sports.  Consistently, year after year, the season would begin with the highest of expectations, proceed through the season with various levels of hope, just to be battered, beaten, bruised, kicked, punched, mollywhopped, and embarrassed come the post-season.

However, the optimist in me implores you to once again bestow your faith in the athletes we have come to love and hate simultaneously.  Let me break it down for you…

Phillies

I start with the Phillies because they are the obvious choice.  They snapped that grueling losing streak in 2008, made it back to the Fall Classic again in 2009 and are primed for another World Series run.  The recent acquisition of Roy Oswalt along with the team in general realizing, “Oh yeah! Winning is fun and we’re good at it” makes all sports fans in the city unite. This team is currently the cream of the crop. I dare you to find a neighbor without any Phillies “shwag” in their closet…ok so maybe ol’ Granny next door doesn’t count.

Flyers

After reaching the Stanley Cup Finals for the first time since 1997, and winning a home game in that series which hasn’t happened since 1987, the Fly Guys are chomping at the bit for another chance to drink out of Lord Stanley’s over sized chalice.  GM Paul Holmgren is continually making moves to better his team and this off season is no different.  I have already secured my home opener ticket and am more excited than Crosby before a dance recital. Boom! Roasted.

Eagles

While the Eagles season may or may not experience the same success we’ve had in the past 7+ years, Kevin Kolb is looking to prove himself worthy.  A dynamic offense partnered with a grinding defense will make an entertaining team to watch.  It may not happen this year, but I am confident our birds will fly their way back to super bowl contention relatively soon.

Sixers

Well, this is the one dark spot.  However, the glass is half full.  With that being said, we can’t get much worse than last year.  Young star Evan Turner seems to be the type of player a team can be built around.  If we can get some players to step up alongside him (looking at you, Jrue Holiday), maybe we can kick the laughingstock tune which has recently developed into our reputation.

Special Shoutout

I am going to take this opportunity to give a warm welcome to the Philadelphia Union.  Soccer and the MLS is growing in the good ol’ US of A and Philly is doing its part to contribute.  As with any other expansion team, the Union struggled this season.  If nothing else though, the games are highly entertaining. The stadium illustrates an overwhelming caricature of blue and gold complete with a 90 minute soundtrack of chants and drums.  Even non-soccer fans will be able to enjoy themselves.

Final Thoughts

Convinced?  I thought so.  So come on kids…dust off your blue and red cap, pull up your orange and black socks, throw on your Kelly green jersey, (dribble a basketball?) and join me in celebrating the greatness, that is Philly sports.  Oh, and don’t forget to chant “Asshole!” accompanied by an arm wave at every Devils, Mets, Cowboy fan you see.

Willie Penn would be proud.

Ed. Note – Andrew O’Brien has a weak glove hand and lets in softies.

Kendra, a bona fide blonde bombshell, is well known for her girlfriend status with none other than Hugh Hefner in E! Network’s reality TV series, “The Girls Next Door“. In addition to the series, she also has posed nude in Playboy, capturing the hearts of teenage boys and perverts all across America.

Most recently, Kendra gave birth to her first (and hopefully last) child, Hank IV. To celebrate his birth, and her return, we’ve compiled some, er, relevant links:

Kendra’s blog, fresh off an appearance on Lopez Tonight.

Meanwhile, Kendra is contemplating what people are calling a “career reduction”.

Stalk Follow Kendra on Twitter: @KendraWilkinson

She’s also an entrepreneurial saleswoman! Introducing: The Kendra Wilkinson “Sport” Pole

The reason for her return? The Philadelphia Eagles resigned her husband, Hank Baskett-Wilkinson, to a one-year contract after a brief stint with the Indianapolis Colts last season.

It’s good for the city of Philadelphia to have Kendra back in town sporting her fabulous set of…blue eyes.

]]> http://www.phillyfancomplex.com/everything-else-philly/2010/03/diagram-it-jayson-werths-career-options/feed/ 0 http://www.phillyfancomplex.com/everything-else-philly/2010/03/top-ten-philadelphia-celebration-and-blunder/ http://www.phillyfancomplex.com/everything-else-philly/2010/03/top-ten-philadelphia-celebration-and-blunder/#comments Wed, 10 Mar 2010 22:02:36 +0000 Joe Palmer http://www.phillyfancomplex.com/?p=1540 This week we’re listing the top ten Philadelphia sports celebrations…and also some that we’ll refer to as “adventures”. The list is composed of somewhat recent celebrations (post-Y2K bug time period), since they are freshest in our minds. As always, feel free to comment on which celebrations we missed and would like to see up here.

10. Coburn 3x fist pump

Braydon Coburn pulls off the triple fist pump in Game Three of the 2008 Eastern Conference Quarterfinals against the Washington Capitals. This move is practiced by many but only pulled off by a select few. Personally, I’m still working on mine.

9. Iverson crosses Lue

Allen Iverson crosses over Tyronne Lue in Game One of the 2001 NBA Finals…and then proceeds to step over him. In yo face!

8. T.O. mocks Ray Lewis

After scoring a touchdown, Terrell Owens mocks the murderer’s Ray Lewis’s idiotic pre-game dancing ritual.

7. Werth’s victory cigar

Jayson Werth enjoying a victory cigar after the Phillies clinch the NL East in 2009. Looking bad-ass as always!

6. Jackson Jerkin’

DeSean Jackson “jerkin” in the endzone. What’s better than that? How about doing it against the New York Giants (and the ‘skins)? You go Cali boi!

5. McNabb dancing tribute

So many stupid dances from Donovan McNabb over the years that we have to include them all in the five spot (it’s only fitting).

4. D Jacc scores?

Not the proudest moment here for DeSean Jackson. As a rookie, Jackson drops the ball just outside the endzone before his celebration on Monday Night Football. As bad as it was, it wasn’t the first time he’s pulled this one off.

3. Jeffrey Lurie with the miss!

During the game in which the Eagles whooped the Cowboys to get into the 2008 playoffs, owner, Jeffrey Lurie, high-fives his entourage to perfection. Then, he attempts to high-five his wife, Christine. Let’s just say that his hand-eye coordination isn’t what it used to be.

Side Note: I absolutely love how he played it off like it never happened. Don’t apologize or anything, Jeffrey.

2. WFC

Nothing summed up the 2008 championship season better than Chase Utley’s speech the day of the parade. It will go down as one of the greatest moments in Philly sports history whether historians(?) want to acknowledge it or not.

1. 2008 World Series Celebration

Unfortunately, MLB has taken down the official video of this one. Let’s be real though. We remember it like it was yesterday. Oh, the memories of Brad Lidge dropping to his knees and Ryan Howard jumping onto him, thus ruining his 2009 season.

Honorable Mention:

• Jeremiah Trotter swinging the axe after a sack
• Danny Briere fist pump after every goal
• Dan Carcillo celebrating the first fight in Winter Classic history
• Iverson pumping up the crowds at the Wachovia Center after hitting a bucket (remember those days?)
• Freddie Mitchell putting on the “people’s champ” belt after every catch

Late Edition:

I really can’t believe I forgot this one. Deserves to be in the top ten…

10. Veterans Stadium featuring the Phanatic

A Mellon PSFS giveaway!

9. Campbell’s Chunky Soup featuring Donovan McNabb

Personally, I hate this commercial, but I think we would be errant to not put it in the top ten.

8. ESPN SportsCenter featuring Jimmy Rollins

A newer commercial here and it’s a beaut.

7. Anti-Cocaine PSA featuring Mike Schmidt

I’m talking to you Darryl Strawberry.

6. Starter Hat featuring Lenny Dykstra

We were informed of this commercial from a post from The Fightins sometime back in January. Makes me want to rock a Starter hat right now. I love the guest appearance by Rodney Dangerfield as well.

5. Reebok A9 Shoes featuring Allen Iverson

An absolute warrior. Almost makes you wish A.I. would play one farewell game this season so the Sixers can make some money sell out the Wachovia Center one last time.

4. Kiwi Shoes’ Soles4Souls featuring Ian Laperriere

Ian was still without his teeth during the recording of this commercial. We prefer the bloopers though.

3. Reebok A6 Shoes featuring Allen Iverson

He’s hot on the court, but A.I. can rap? I’m YouTubin’ so hard, I may need a nap. (see what I did there?)

2. Canada Dry featuring Ron Hextall

This one is a special YouTube find.

1. Flyers Winter Classic 2010

The first time I witnessed this commercial, my excitement for the Winter Classic rose exponentially. Nothing sums up playing the game outdoors like this one did.

Honorable Mention (or just could not be found on YouTube):

• New Era baseball hats featuring Cole Hamels
• Dicks Sporting Goods featuring Jimmy Rollins
• McDonalds featuring Jon Runyan
• IHOP featuring Donovan McNabb
• Comcast Commercials featuring Cole Hamels
• Danny Briere’s “Window Breaking” Versus Commercial (we did find the spoof of it)
• Subway featuring Ryan Howard

Final Note:

I’m sure I missed many of your favorites. Do you have a commercial in mind that really sticks out for you? Do you disagree with some of my selections? Let me know about it. I’m interested to see what you can find. Be sure to post YouTube links to your favorites if you can find the video.

Runyan, who announced his intentions to seek office back in the fall, emerged as the prime candidate for the Republican nomination in New Jersey’s Third District after Maurice “Moe” Hill dropped out of the race, citing Big Jon’s fund-raising prowess.

His opposition will come in the form of freshman Rep. John Adler, who faces quite the battle to retain his seat as an unproven Democrat in Republican territory, especially in a national environment certain to swing back towards the right in the November elections.

With the relative weakness of Runyan’s rival, expect Big Jon to be in Congress this time next fall. If the Democratically-controlled Congress wasn’t already a pushover, they will roll right over like Asante Samuel near a ball-carrier for an imposing figure such as Runyan, voted one of the dirtiest players in the league for most of his career.

For those of you who live in Runyan’s district, expect to see a hulking, hairy man on your doorsteps in the run-up to the general election.

WIP’s 18th annual carnal carnival unfolded on the floor of the Wachovia Center Friday morning, and those who celebrated another Super Bowl weekend sans Eagles were better off for it.

Not because of the girls, the beer, the vomit or the outrageous parade; the adventure of Wing Bowl is the real attraction, the thrill of staying awake through the night only to muster the energy to drink heavily before sunrise. The lots at the Wachovia complex opened at 4 a.m. and were filled soon after, the excess traffic spilling into the Citizens Bank parking lots. Beer was everywhere, of course, along with various other samplings for those otherwise inclined.

Though the lots were full, the building itself was not. It was a solid crowd but far from a sellout, with the upper bowl no more than half full. Representatives of the various gentlemen’s clubs around the city combed the arena, passing out flyers and business cards.

The largest crowd reaction of the morning, besides the numerous teases of women disrobing on the big screen, was directed toward Jersey Shore oompa loompa Snooki, the overly-orange star of the MTV show and professional appearance-maker. Armed with her bodyguard entourage and a wallet padded with exorbitant appearance fees, Snooki was roundly jeered with each appearance on the jumbotron, including a weak attempt on the mechanical bull that won her no fans.

With the floats originating from the zamboni tunnel and circling the perimeter of the floor, the action was generally scrambled at first. From the seats, it is a mass of people: The scantily clad, the fat and the drunk milling on the floor, making it difficult to follow the action.

If one could follow it, though, Wing Bowl 18 was a veritable blowout. Super Squibb repeated as Wing Bowl champion, crushing the field with a whopping 238 wings cleaned to the bone. In reality, few in the audience care about the results of the contest. Like fans who watch NASCAR for the crashes, most in attendance come for the vomit, projectile at times, and the real action on the jumbotron: the women.

Much like in a casino, you lose track of time inside the Wachovia Center. You enter before sunrise, and exit mid-morning, the gray overcast a startling reminder. Where are we? What are we doing here?

In its sheer garishness, Wing Bowl is incomparable. Check your decorum at the door, and don’t think twice about the madness around you. It is, indeed, the perfect opportunity to commit your sins early in the day.

The video below properly captures the zeitgeist of this mad scene:

Say it with us: “Only in Philadelphia.”

Standing 5’9 and weighing in at 285 lbs, out of the University of Delaware (Go Blue Hens), Philly Fan Complex’s sleeper pick for Wing Bowl 18…

Gabe “The Heavyweight” Mendez

His stunt to get into Wing Bowl? 30 Dunkin Donut Munchkins in three minutes.

“The Heavyweight” absolutely demolished the munchkins in 1:59 and then proceeded to ask what was for breakfast.

But can he eat wings? Only time will tell, but we did get our hands on his homemade training videos. The video was filmed at the Kappa Sigma Fraternity house at the University of Delaware where his “entourage” has transformed this man into a monster.

Check out Gabe early Friday morning as he looks to make a name for himself and represent his school Fraternity.

Ed. Note: AEKDB

]]> http://www.phillyfancomplex.com/everything-else-philly/2010/02/an-underdogs-inspiring-run-to-gluttonous-glory/feed/ 0 http://www.phillyfancomplex.com/everything-else-philly/2010/02/insert-synonym-for-depraved-here-wing-bowl-18-preview/ http://www.phillyfancomplex.com/everything-else-philly/2010/02/insert-synonym-for-depraved-here-wing-bowl-18-preview/#comments Tue, 02 Feb 2010 20:10:31 +0000 Scott Keppen http://phillyfancomplex.com/?p=619 Well, it’s that time again, ladies and gentlemen. Every February, titans of athleticism come together to participate in the greatest and most celebrated sporting event in the world. No, I’m not talking about the Super Bowl but something much more important—the Wing Bowl.

For months, potential participants have been attempting feats of strength in hopes of winning a coveted spot on center stage. Everything from eating a 30-egg omelet in six minutes to downing 100 wontons was attempted. Most failed, but those with the intestinal fortitude to fight through the stomach cramps, projectile vomiting and days of chronic diarrhea are soon to be rewarded with the three most important staples of life: wings, beer, and strippers. More strippers than you can shake a stick at, as my grandfather would say.

Ahh yes, the infamous Wingette, a title any father would be proud to have his daughter hold. What they lack in brains they clearly make up for in whorishness. They travel from the deepest, darkest crevices of the local gentleman’s clubs to seek the light of day once a year in order to let us know if it will be an early spring or six more… oh wait, no, that’s Punxsutawney Phil.

What do the Wingettes do again? Oh, that’s right: Slut it up.

But put aside all the gluttony, pride and lust oozing out every pore of the Wing Bowl for just a moment so that you can get a sense of the true motivation behind the event. What it is really about is freedom. That’s right, America: I said freedom! The freedom to eat as much as you want and drink way more than what is doctor recommended, all while half-naked girls prance around the room for you to admire. If that’s not giving a big “F-U” to the terrorists, I don’t know what is!

So, even if you can’t make it out to the Wachovia Center this Friday, do something else to display your patriotism. Fly a flag, visit a veteran’s hospital, or maybe just have a beer at the closest strip club. Hell, why not get a lap dance or two while you’re there? Here’s my list of the top five competitor’s this year:

#1: Super Squib, Defending Champion out of Berlin, New Jersey. 6’4″, 215 lbs.

#2: Big Bambino, 2.5 lbs of Fettuccini Alfredo in four minutes. 6’1″, 380 lbs.

#3: Not Rich, 20 Hot Dogs in three minutes. 6’1″, 225 lbs.

#4: Snooki, the pint-sized star of The Jersey Shore. I won’t display her weight for fear that J-Woww will beat me up.

#5: Buffalo 7, 30-egg omelet in six minutes. 5’10″, 170 lbs.

These are my picks, and we’ll see how they do Friday morning at 6 a.m. But until then, here are a few videos that will get your heart beating to the rhythm of Stars and Stripes Forever.

What can be said with authority, however, is Philly Mag’s aim to re-stoke the fire that was the Anti-Michael Vick Bandwagon, a deluge of criticism lasting until everyone realized Vick had little to no impact on the team this season. According to Philly Mag, though, Vick’s primary occupation for which he earned $1.6 million this season was not toting around a clipboard or weakly attempting to recover a fumble in the playoffs; rather, it was “Dog Abuser,” as he was labeled on the magazine’s cover. This surely was a tactic to sell magazines, as Vick is listed as “Eagles quarterback” inside the magazine.

There is no need to delve into the story of Vick the Convict again; it has been hashed out and dissected to death. By the magazine’s standards, however, each occupation chronicled in the issue should have been labeled by their misdeeds, rather than their actual source of income. Yet, the magazine does not single out any other individuals. With some creative brainstorming among the Philly Fan Complex staff, we came up with a number of other alternative occupations for the issue:

• John Bolaris, Forecast Inventor
• SEPTA bus driver, Professional Picketer
• City of Philadelphia Police Officer, Crooked Cop
• Personal Trainer, Steroid Distributor
• Sperm Donor, Porn Addict
• Pilot, Incompetent Navigator
• Dog Walker, Eagles quarterback Laid-Off Babysitter

This is by no means a defense of Vick, but the man did his time and appears to have put his past behind him (except for the mediocre quarterbacking part). Rather, it is an example of the magazine’s apparent need to showcase its collective cleverness, as editors chuckle amongst themselves in their Center City high-rise, tugging each other while grinning manically at their prize. “Look how damn funny we are, Dick—we’ll show that man exactly what he has done.”

And yes—he has done it, but the Philadelphia Magazine cover was not about reminding Vick of exactly what he has done. It was about showing how smart they could be.

Fortunately, with Vick likely not back with the team next season, we won’t have to hear anymore about this. Good riddance to Vick and the opportunity he presented to the smarmy editors in Philadelphia.

Nice job, Philly Mag.

Moderator: “Welcome, gentlemen. Thank you very much for taking the time to sit down with us today and talk some Philadelphia sports.”

DJacc: “Ain’t nuttin. U know how we do.”

Cholly: (nods head and slouches down further in his chair)

Moderator: “Let’s begin by discussing…” (DeSean’s phone rings)

DJacc: (answers phone) “Yo Cali boiii. Snoop, wuts poppn bruh. Dis east coast is freezn ya boi. Ya heard? Sheeeesh!” (Leaves room)

Moderator: “Let’s move on. As I was saying, let’s begin by discussing the fans here in Philadelphia. What are your thoughts on them, Charlie?”

Cholly: “The fans? Well, uhh, if you’re good, then they’ll let you know it, but at the same time, it’s like I always like to say, that uhh the fans will always have your back if you’re uhh playing good ball, but at the same time, if you’re playing bad then believe me, they sure as hell will let ya hear it. I uhh love Philadelphia and I love their people and I ain’t gone let them down. We have a umm uhh good ball club here.” (DeSean comes back into the room)

Moderator: “Well put Charlie. DeSean, I just asked Charlie about his thoughts on the fans of Philadelphia. What are your thoughts?”

DJacc: “Awww man dem hot. Dem crazy fans here cuz they be watchin ya boi be great and do his work. When u have superstaz like D Jacc then wut it do? Ya heard?”

Moderator: “Oh…ok, I was thinking the same. Let’s move on.”

End of Part I. Check back next week for Part II.