Hey Venuers, how you doing? Still balling? Thought so…

K, so, look. We’re all pretty pissed about this whole “World Cup thing” at this point…. I mean, am I wrong or am I wrong? Not saying the lot of us wouldn’t do the whole thing over again if we could, mind you.

Matter of fact, we think we just might need to look up our local methadone clinic for the adrenaline withdrawals we’ve been having. Just right this moment, The Venuist is over in the corner slumped in his favorite office chair [better known around Venuing HQ as his "binkie"] and YT Crooks is high above New York Harbor threatening to jump from the tenth floor ledge into what he keeps calling the “Big Cool-Ade.” Come to think of it, we haven’t even seen Mags or Warning Track Power all this week…and 33 Problems keeps sending us 1-3 word texts chocked with non-sequiturs as if he’s been wandering aimlessly through some sort of lonely desert of the soul.

Whatevs. All you people care about are your weekly power rankings.

So fine, here: you can have ‘em. We don’t want ‘em anymore anyway!

TOP 5 Impact Performers, week 3ish:

1. Diego Maradona – Say what you will but dude understands the first — and by far, most important — rule of sportsman awesomeness: go BIG or go home. Argentina is killing all comers — with or without the aid of specious referee calls — and their coach has managed to deploy some 20 out of the 23 total men on his roster. No point in belaboring the point any further: Maradona is the biggest little man who ever walked God’s green soccer pitch. Wait, reports are coming in that Dustin Pedroia just challenged him to an arm-wrestling/Jenga/pissing contest. Sweet. One ring to rule them all…

BONUS: When it comes to sideline swagger Coach Maradona is unmatched. He’s a ray of sunshine in comparison to the rest of the national managers. He’s like a delightful marionette dreaming of sugarplums and champagne and he makes the likes of mean, cold brutes like Fabio Capello seem woefully mirthless. Viva el mano de dios!

For more World Cup power rankings, click here.

Dustin Pedroia, Placido Polanco (he’s eligible at second), and worst of all (because he was my 1st rounder in two separate leagues) Chase Utley, who is now out 5-6 weeks. They’ve all gotten injured very recently, and they’ve all been very viable fantasy options this year. As always, there are things you can do to help yourself while you wait for these guys to heal. All is not lost, you can find a ton of players on the waiver wire. Even better, there are some dudes who do the same stuff as the players you lost (just not as well, clearly). I’ve found them and given you two guys for each of the aforementioned victims of what I’ve dubbed The Great Second-Base-Tastrophe of 2010.

The Dustin Pedroias

Sean Rodriguez – Tampa Bay Rays
Rodriguez came into Spring Training and, simply put, tore it up. Then the season started. He wasn’t even a little bit good, and lost himself any playing time he earned in March. Now he’s back and, simply put, tearing it up again. In the past month he’s hit .302 with 4 homers and 15 RBI while stealing 5 bases. That puts his power numbers actually ahead of Pedroia, but the HR to SB ratio is similar with a high average (Dustin has 12 homers and 8 steals, while hitting .292). Unfortunately for Rodriguez, these numbers may not keep up. He’s got a staggering 86 point difference between his average and his BABIP and he’s walking only 1 time per every 10 K’s. Imagine Mark Reynolds striking out 200 times in a season but only walking 20. Ya, that bad. I’d ride out his hot streak for now, but be prepared to drop him when the tides turn.

Clint Barmes – Colorado Rockies
Barmes has been playing shortstop in Troy Tulowitzki’s absence, but he’s eligible at second so he counts. Clint has hit .300 with 2 homers, 16 RBI and 2 steals this month, and is going to force himself into the lineup once Tulo is back (in place of Jonathan Herrera, at second). The metrics tell us he’s even been a little unlucky this year, with a BABIP of .269 against a .283 career number. That should improve, as his BB/K rate is at an all-time high of 0.43, compared to his lifetime mark of 0.29. Barmes will continue to rake and should only get better once Troy Boy comes back. Get him now, you may even end up keeping him.

The Placido Polancos

To view the rest of this article, click here!

This post originally written by YT Crooks from Venuing Voices.

Everyone seems to think that the biggest story of this season’s NBA free agent drama will be where LeBron James ends up. But I think the bigger story is where Kobe Bryant is heading.

In a bid to solidify his claim as the best basketball player of his era, Bryant has asked for a transfer to the Cleveland Cavaliers. His goal: to do what James couldn’t and win a championship with the same supporting cast. Word is Bryant has even asked the team to re-hire coach Mike Brown as part of the trade.

“I think this is better than any sort of rap battle or ‘yo mama’ contest,” Bryant said. “We’ll settle it on the court. If I can lead this team to a championship, I’m clearly the better player. If not, then I’m certainly no worse.”

“I don’t know who he thinks he is,” James said, when reporters asked him for a comment. “He’s not LeBron James. I’m LeBron James. He’s just a sucka who wishes he was LeBron James.”

In related news, James is said to be fighting for a clause in the contract with whichever team acquires him that will allow him to put his full name on his jersey.

Those of you watching the World Cup this year, and possibly watching high level, competitive soccer for the first time, may have noticed the theatrics employed by certain soccer players. They get tackled, bumped, nudged, looked at, and all of a sudden they are flying through the air or rolling on the ground. When these falls are fake or embellished they are called “simulation” but are better known as “dives”.

There are many players in soccer who dive [see: Ronaldo, Drogba, Italy], and there are of course many legitimate reasons for doing so…

For more about the justification of diving, click here.

Over the course of watching the game this morning, it became clear to me that FIFA doesn’t want the US to advance in the World Cup. I’d wager it has something to do with other countries’ fanbases “caring more”, creating an arena where countries besides the US can excel at something, and probably just general hatred of America and freedom. Now granted, our players will not be executed if they return home without a victory, we do dominate the world in most other things, and the world does hate us; but that is no excuse for denying us rightly earned goals and games [and no, the US losing would not be "For the Good of the Game"].

You would think that after the Koman Coulibaly debacle that robbed the US of a win against Slovenia that the officials on the pitch for this game against Algeria would have gotten some memo prior to kickoff saying something like “if it’s close, rule in the US’ favor”. After all, that would really be the ONLY way that FIFA and/or any officials related to that disaster could make up for that loss…

For more of this rant, click here.